Kobe & Lebron: Most Valuable Puppets... FAIL.

Not to throw disclaimers about like CP3 tossing alley-oops to Tyson Chandler, but I love Nike. For the most part, I love their kicks, their marketing is always on point and they don't joke around with the technology and R&D they put into their products. However, their recent campaign with the current and previous league MVP's is pretty much gar-bage. After seeing the first spot I felt they did little to capture the personalities of these two guys. I mean, maybe that was Lebron 5 years ago and possibly Kobe 5 years from now, but that's still being extreme. Yeah it's puppets and while the excessive chalk was funny, it all got tired after the first 30 seconds. I let things slide the first time as the swoosh got a pass on the strength of their previous track record.

Now, there's another spot with the two marionettes, if the puppetry looks familiar it's the same work you've seen in Kanye West's "Champion" video, (which I still believe is a Nike commercial). With this new Three Rings commercial, it leads me to believe there is a series of spots with Nike feeling their two posterboys will be facing each other in the NBA Finals. Not a radical idea, although the Houston Rockets seem to have missed that memo, maybe there's still time to create a Chris "Birdman" Andersen puppet?

What baffles me most is how much Nike has missed the mark here. While hardly funny, they are nothing like their real life counterparts, and don't need to be. But they could have played into some of their characteristics and made it more comedic. Or it could have been stronger if they actually voiced it, yet I'm actually surprised these were even approved. Especially in light of Kobe's alleged creative control demands on the Spike Lee directed Kobe Doin' Work documentary.

Who signs off on these? Lebron came off better in this one, yet Kobe looks like a clown, or better yet the Cookie Monster. I mean really, Jim Henson must be rolling in his grave right now.

Smush Parker Spits Venom At The Mamba.

I don't really know how to call this one. First of all, I'm not sure when this interview went down, (likely after his time in Los Angeles), but Smush Parker calls out Kobe Bryant as the reason behind the Lakers problems. Now Smush definitely has been putting it down in NYC and has the rep and respect on the asphalt, but he doesn't come close to what he's accomplished on the hardwood.

As an NBA player, he has played on 6 teams in 5 seasons, and ironically his best career stats are in LA playing with the guy who he is dissing. I don't know where you are right now, (truthfully, it's not worth my energy to look), but as a player who is trying to find his place in the league you may want to think twice before shitting on one of the league's best. I'm just saying.

Thanks to SportsbyBrooks for the tip.

Bruce Bowen... Inspiring America's Youth.

Bruce Bowen is easily the dirtiest basketball player alive, I must have missed his edition of the Better Basketball videos, but apparently this little tyke hasn't. Playing around during a shoot for the new fan issue of EPSN Magazine, Kobe dribbles a soccer ball with the little guy, frustrated he can't get the ball from him, he throws a jab at his mamba, (check thee 50 second mark)!

Somewhere in a dark cave in San Antonio, Texas, Bowen is rubbing his hands and smiling with glee.

Kobe Bryant on a H-O-R-S-E.

The viral video. Sometimes they hit big, sometimes they flop hard. If this was 30 seconds shorter, it would have been classic. However, Kobe pedaling his ankle breaking insurance on an outdoor court... sitting atop a horse!?! Sorry, that's still jokes to me. It's somewhat ironic he's selling ankle insurance for such a low cut shoe, the Zoom Kobe IV, yet it's been a while since Kobe himself has broken anyone's ankles,(crash test dummy crossover victims excluded).

The Nike Zoom Kobe IV.

Kobe Bryant never one to accept anything less than perfection, defied conventional basketball wisdom when he unveiled the new Zoom Kobe IV today at Westchester High School in Los Angeles, California. Basically throwing all traditional basketball performance thinking out the window, his new signature sneaker is a low cut shoe.

Check out the sketch and photo below and expect a full story shortly.

KOBE IV.

On Friday December 19th #24, The Black Mamba, Kobe "Jellybean" Bryant will be dropping the new Zoom Kobe 4's against the Miami Heat. If you google hard enough you can see find some pics on the web, but your bloggers favourite blogger is going to be part of a media event on the 11th.

Trust I'll come through with the details.

All I Want For Christmas.

What do you get for the man or woman who has everything? How about a pair of Kobe Bryant PE Hyperdunks in the McDonald's All-American colourway? Paying tribute to his Lower Merion High School days, this is probably one of the hottest colourway combos thus far, the patent leather toebox is slick, as well as the insole, which spells out All-American in french fries, and his old #33 is embroidered on the shoe. The colours are ill on this bad boy, and pretty flavourful as well, (no pun intended).

Finally something to put on my list.

Thanks to Jordan Hagerdon at Bounce, who just turned into Santa's Lil' Helper.

X's & O's.

My man Dave, (who just had a baby by the way, congrats), just forwarded me practically the best thing ever! It's been kicking around on The New York Times site since February, but hey All Balls Don't Bounce wasn't around then, so pardon me if you've seen it.

It's an X's and O's look at how to contain Kobe in isolation, Paul Pierce off the screen, Nash & Amare's high pick & roll, neutralizing Yao Ming, and stopping the Suns fastbreak. While it all sounds pretty idealistic, the steps are broken down with an audio commentary by Jeff Van Gundy, one of this era's better defensive coaches.

Now I could go on with superlatives on how interesting this is, but the easiest way to understand it is to experience it and check it out.

Hoops vs. Hip-Hop.

First to be clear, I'm a Lakers fan, and a Kobe Bryant fan, but I'm also a fan of hip-hop. So whenever, a rapper calls somebody out, or there's a dope freestyle, or battle, I'm all for it.

However, we have Shaquille O'Neal, who was one of the best basketball players, but one of the worst to touch the mic ...and yes, it was funny, but let's take a look at this for a second.

Shaq-Fu is dissing Kobe for not winning the Finals without him, ratting him out and "causing" hin to get a divorce. Now, I'm not debating where The Diesel is coming from, but in hip-hop, you don't make peace with someone, and turn around FOUR YEARS LATER, and dis them. To make matters worse, you don't recant the next day saying "I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. I'm totally cool with Kobe."

You can't disrespect someone on the mic, and the next day be like "Psyche, I was playing", you don't hear 50 Cent, or Lil Wayne, backpedal like that. Now don't get me wrong, these guys aren't MC's on the street, but there are still principles of hip-hop and for those indiscretions, you would get clowned on principle alone.

Besides, if I'm waiting 4 years, to take a shot at someone, I'm coming up with something better than "Smell My A#*, B^tch", and while it's highly unlikely, I would love to hear K.O.B.E. respond on a track.

...not even touching how Shaq said he was better than Kareem.